Sex at 60: The Good, the Bad and the Beautiful

March 06, 2015
Sex at 60

Senior adults are awash in myths and misconceptions about sex later in life. The messages in popular media, the attitude of younger people and even sometimes the advice of medical professionals seem to support the notion that your existence as a sexual being is in danger of extinction by the age of 60. But for every negative message, there are those who are living the opposite reality – vibrant, satisfying sex lives well after menopause. A New England Journal of Medicine study reported that more than half of the respondents between the ages of 57 and 85 consider sexuality a vital part of their lives. If you are looking to turn off the misconceptions and make your own reality for sex after 60, remember these truths:

Sex is Like Exercise – Stay in the Habit

Decreasing hormones can undoubtedly lead to a drop in sexual desire as we age, but that doesn’t mean we should close the door on sex. Studies prove that sexually active adults are often healthier and happier, so the best advice experts can give is simple: keep doing it, even if you don’t particularly feel like it. More often than not, sexual arousal will come, especially if you learn to make love at the times of day when you feel the most energetic. To maintain strong relationships and reap all of the benefits of an extended healthy sex life, don’t let yourself get out of the habit. “You should continue to have good sex for the same reason you should continue to get good exercise: It's taking care of yourself,” said 63-year-old sex educator Joani Blank, author of Still Doing It: Women and Men Over 60 Write About Their Sexuality.

Creativity Might Be Required

Forget that old saying about teaching an old dog new tricks and experiment for optimal sexual satisfaction after 60. Many older couples find that using lubricants or sex toys transform their intimacy. And don’t limit yourself to intercourse alone; there are plenty of other intimate acts that can lead to plenty of enjoyment for older adults. So even when things don’t work quite like they used to you can keep exploring your sexual side. Above all, don’t be afraid to talk about sex and communicate with your partner, because the results of opening that door of communication could be transformative.

Find Solidarity With Peers Who Embrace Sexuality

In the age of the Internet, there is no reason not to feel connected to a community of like-minded individuals, and plenty of bloggers focus on vibrant life after 60 and, specifically, the importance of cultivating a healthy and exciting sex life at any age. Joan Price, who calls herself an “advocate for ageless sexuality and fitness,” has written several books for seniors, including Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex, and she offers an abundance of resources and encouragement. Another popular sex blogger, Erica Jagger, recently questioned her gynecologist’s assertion that she would be done with sex at age 65. “I wonder: do mid-lifers lose interest in sex because they feel old and tired?” Jagger wrote. “Or do they lose interest in sex because the culture tells them they’re too old to need it, want it, enjoy it?”

You Forge Your Own Sexual Path, No Matter Your Age

It’s ironic, at the age when many adults are the most comfortable airing their own opinions and making decisions about their lives, sexuality can become so stifled. Sex after 60 certainly looks different than sex at 30, but that doesn’t mean it should disappear from the landscape or diminish in quality. If you want to keep your sexual side alive, make decisions that will keep the fire burning and help you feel much younger than your age indicates.

Vibrant Voice Ambassador at Replens
The Vibrant Voice Ambassador’s mission is to collect interesting stories and useful articles that are relevant for mature women.  Our goal is to help you maintain an active lifestyle - to Fifty and Beyond!
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