Menopause Hot Flashes: Funny Stories of Melting in Public

May 21, 2014
Funny Menopause Hot Flashes

Any woman who has ever experienced menopause hot flashes – thought to be caused by decreased estrogen levels affecting the sensitivity of the hypothalamus – knows that they can be embarrassing and frustrating. But like any menopause symptom, they are often unavoidable, and the more menopausal women can laugh at those sudden onslaughts of body heat the better their days will go. As with any uncomfortable issue, solidarity is everything, so take heart from some of the funny stories offered by women who have suddenly melted in public.

Giving More Information Than Intended at a Job Interview

One woman, writing into the “Miss Conduct” column at The Boston Globe, shared a vulnerable moment when a menopause hot flash hit her while she was interviewing for a job. Miss Conduct gave her astute advice about how to deal with that unexpected flash – don’t pretend it didn’t happen, and do your best to put those around you at ease. “Unless you’re with lady friends, don’t make self-deprecating jokes,” she advised. “Then take a deep breath, a sip of water, and dab your forehead with a well-ironed handkerchief of excellent quality, perhaps monogrammed. Learn how to do this with deliberation and ease, allowing it to be a moment when everyone else can quickly check their smartphones, blow their noses, or organize their own thoughts. A moment that enhances your authority, rather than undermining it.”

Feelin’ the Temperature Rise in the Workplace

The Menopause Goddess Blog sponsored a contest in spring 2014 for best hot flash stories, and several of the funny stories took place during work settings. The winner, Edwinna Margheim, experienced an intense menopause hot flash one day as she was working in the admissions office of her local community college. At the time her temperature spiked, one of the college’s IT guys was there training employees on some new software. “As I was sitting at my desk entering grades, I leaned back and groaned, ‘Oh my God… power surge!’ as I began to have a hot flash!” she shared. “The IT guy jumped out of his chair and ran over to me saying ‘Where? Did you lose the data? What’s going on?!’ I wasn’t sure I would ever stop laughing.”

Another entry, from Theresa Venus, remembered the day she was the only woman in a meeting about an important real estate transaction. As she helped negotiate points between a contractor, a cabinet builder and a “high energy” buyer, she was overcome by an intense flash. “Starting with that deep down warning glow, the heat spread faster than the Angora wildfire throughout every molecule of my body. It was intense and before I knew it, try as I might, I couldn’t make out what was being said. I saw their lips move and then I saw a look of bewilderment on their faces. Soon – all eyes were on me. Finally, what sounded like Darth Vader, a voice said, “Are you alright?”
Guess what intelligent words spouted from my lips? ‘“I MUST TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES!”’ Needless to say, those men grabbed their clipboards and ran like hell. The transaction ended smoothly.”

Expecting the Unexpected

Studies estimate that 85 percent of menopausal women experience hot flashes, and some suffer from them more frequently in the middle of the night or in certain situations. But most women agree that menopause hot flashes are unwelcome and uninvited visitors with no sense of appropriate timing. As Jean Kane writes on “Because 90 percent of my hot flashes are completely random, I’ve had hot flashes while out at a work dinner, while talking to one of my kids’ teachers, and while wearing a gown at a black-tie event. I can just see whomever I may be talking to wondering why I’m seemingly calm and collected but simultaneously literally steaming up. Friends even avert their eyes when beads of sweat start sliding down my face, neck, and arms like rain droplets.”

Do you have a story of one of your menopause hot flashes leaving you in a hilarious situation? Share it with us below!

Vibrant Voice Ambassador at Replens
The Vibrant Voice Ambassador’s mission is to collect interesting stories and useful articles that are relevant for mature women.  Our goal is to help you maintain an active lifestyle - to Fifty and Beyond!
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